2190 days

I have been a mother for 2,190 days. There are no words that describe the disbelief and shock I feel in my heart when I reflect on that. This week brought much emotion to our home with the second tooth exchanged with the tooth fairy, family coming together through the loss of a loved one, and the ever so crazy schedule we have just causing us to need stillness. On Thursday night, I laid my head to rest for the evening on Ainsley's pillow while she was at her dad's and I just realized how I could have never dreamed how great motherhood truly could be. Although I feel constantly challenged and pray that the Lord instill within me the patience and grace to win the "Mom of the Year" award, Ainsley Jean teaches me that her love for me has no conditions and is limitless. 

On Wednesday night, four bright and joy filled young women joined us for Ainsley's first sleepover (that wasn't with family) to celebrate her 6th birthday. On Monday morning, I had barely remembered to make the reservations for lunch, so come Wednesday it was no surprise when we were 15 minutes late to our own party because had been delayed by picking Bandit up from the vet. But no one but me noticed. Each little girl wore a smile as long as the Mississippi as they eagerly entered our home and started getting their dolls dressed in their best party attire. 

Me on the other hand, I was scrambling to get dinner together. Luckily, thanks to my dear new friend Alaina, we actually had a dinner because she came to the rescue with the #1 requested chicken nuggets. As we sat down to dinner, silliness ensued and my heart lightened. This party was their perfect party. In six years of parties, this was the first one where Ainsley felt old enough to truly enjoy it because of her age. The progression from dinner to the making of s'mores to movie and sleepover time... no boy would have stood a chance with this group of giggling girlfriends. A tear rolled down my cheek as I closed the door after saying goodnight, they had all said prayers together and in that moment I was receiving another sign that my baby was growing up and I needed to be ready for it.

And just like that, she turned six. Waking up on Thursday I had a six year old, and she was stoked about that. GOODBYE FIVE! And there was no better way to start your sixth year than a donut breakfast thanks to the one and only Jared delivering the most perfect sprinkle donuts (and the largest coffee for one tired mama, thanks J!). A little time to spare for make overs and pink hair before heading off to the American Girl store for lunch with the dolls. 

Fast forward through the hard goodbyes and two hour drive in traffic home... I find myself back in her bed on Thursday night looking at her baby pictures and in disbelief that my sweet girl has been a part of my life for really almost 7 years. 

Ainsley Jean, I hope you read this one day and know that I am so incredibly proud of the God fearing young woman you are and how fiercely you love your community. You joy and heart pour out into what you do and I thank you for teaching me what it means to be awesome at loving life. I'll do anything for you sweet girl.