My Perfect Memory
I have one perfect memory, it is seven seconds long about. I remember what I was wearing, the smells of the room I was in, the physical touch of my mother's hand and chest, the words written on the white board and the sounds of the room. It was the moment my mom took her last breathe.
I'll never have a perfect memory. I wish time would slow down so so many memories didn't pass without the internalizing of every aspect of that moment. I pray regularly that the Lord would open my eyes and heart to more ways to always be in a thousand places at once so that I create memories with all of the people I love in all of the important moments in life. But I had an ah-ha moment... thats not actually possible. So I am going to accept that I will miss moments with Ainsley, friends, family, and my community, but those memories I do hold and those I get to make in the future... they are my scrapbook of His goodness and for that, I am thankful.
Even though that is my only perfect memory, it is still only a fraction of time in the series of moments that led to those seven seconds. As I reflect on the fact that my memory did not fail me in those seven seconds, I think through my last 29 years and how many times I wish I remembered more details about moments in life that were formative to who I am today.
It has almost been six years since I gave birth to my sweet Ainsley Jean. SIX YEARS! Time has flown by and this summer's annual Lake Chelan trip brought a flood of emotions as I reflected on how much has happened in those six years and quickly they flew by. I compared pictures from each birth month and realized that those pictures hold so much value because the moments are just flying by and the memories are holding as well as they can but still get overrun with each milestone, each trial she overcomes, and every magic moment we create together.
It has almost been six years since I gave birth to my sweet Ainsley Jean. SIX YEARS! Time has flown by and this summer's annual Lake Chelan trip brought a flood of emotions as I reflected on how much has happened in those six years and quickly they flew by. I compared pictures from each birth month and realized that those pictures hold so much value because the moments are just flying by and the memories are holding as well as they can but still get overrun with each milestone, each trial she overcomes, and every magic moment we create together.
I'll never have a perfect memory. I wish time would slow down so so many memories didn't pass without the internalizing of every aspect of that moment. I pray regularly that the Lord would open my eyes and heart to more ways to always be in a thousand places at once so that I create memories with all of the people I love in all of the important moments in life. But I had an ah-ha moment... thats not actually possible. So I am going to accept that I will miss moments with Ainsley, friends, family, and my community, but those memories I do hold and those I get to make in the future... they are my scrapbook of His goodness and for that, I am thankful.
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