30 | The House that Built Me
I am laying in bed writing this, and I have so many places where I want to start. But I guess I should start with the moral of the story, in case I lose you in my long winded writing:
Are you the type of person who often wishes things were the way they used to be? Or maybe sometimes it is more like your expectations fall into a category of maintaining tradition and what feels like what you know. In some ways, thats me! [insert emoji of the blonde girl raising her hand, its one of my favorites]
Guys, I am 30 now! And it feels awesome. People ask "Are you nervous about turning 30?" or "Does it make you feel old?" etc... NOPE! It feels great. But was I looking forward to is, meh, that was up for debate.
I am not going to dwell on this, but you see, since the day the picture below was taken, my mom made birthdays so special. Karen loved parties for really any holiday, she was a true entertainer, but birthdays... hands down some of my most favorite memories with mom. So bless the souls of everyone in my life, because my mom set the bar pretty high when it comes to celebrating the gift of life.
I couldn't figure it out. How did I not know?! I am nosey. I get anxiety when I feel like I am out of the loop (yes, I know that is ridiculous). But I was standing there feeling so loved. Love, that is really the house that built me. Each of the people in that room had played such an important role in my life and they were there to usher in a new decade with me.
Cue tears.
There were a few. Okay, a little more than a few, but I could not believe that these people have traveled from near and FAR to be here. I spent the next 3 hours, just being present. It was so perfect. I owe it the three men of my life, and a few little helpers they had. :)
What I want to do right now, is keep sharing all the reasons why these people are my favorite, and how they must really know my love language, and how I literally couldn't wipe the silly grin off my face all weekend. But I'll spare all of your precious moments and instead share a few pictures from the weekend (ps if you have pictures from Friday, text them to me!).
Thank you Lord for each and every one of these beautiful people, and those who couldn't be there. I am so incredibly grateful for the love they give and the role they play in my life.
- This weekend I turned 30, and it was awesome.
- I have THE BEST family and friends, who truly made this weekend special in every way. Thank you to Dad, Jared, and Bobby for pulling off a true surprise that left me overwhelmed and feeling so loved, and to each and every one of those who came! And a special shout out to Chloe for our night with Miranda, who's song inspired this post.
Are you the type of person who often wishes things were the way they used to be? Or maybe sometimes it is more like your expectations fall into a category of maintaining tradition and what feels like what you know. In some ways, thats me! [insert emoji of the blonde girl raising her hand, its one of my favorites]
Guys, I am 30 now! And it feels awesome. People ask "Are you nervous about turning 30?" or "Does it make you feel old?" etc... NOPE! It feels great. But was I looking forward to is, meh, that was up for debate.
I am not going to dwell on this, but you see, since the day the picture below was taken, my mom made birthdays so special. Karen loved parties for really any holiday, she was a true entertainer, but birthdays... hands down some of my most favorite memories with mom. So bless the souls of everyone in my life, because my mom set the bar pretty high when it comes to celebrating the gift of life.
This year though, I wasn't all about the need for anything big, fancy, or special. I really wanted it to be about quality time with people who I love. And boy, did my people come through on that.
Thursday Miranda Lambert concert thanks to Chloe. A little boot scootin' lady time with tacos for dinner. AMAZING!
Friday Date day in Seattle! A day off of work, a movie in the city, a little shopping and eating.... I couldn't ask for a better day with J. Plus a little more to be explained below.
Saturday Coaching Ainsley's first basketball game and then Katy Perry with Dani, James, Pete, Clare, and Jared. We may have lost our game, but we had fun. And Katy Perry...WOW.
Sunday Whatever life threw at me. :)
See, it really was all perfect for someone who identifies with "quality time" being one of their love languages.
Thursday night at the Miranda concert, the song "The House that Built Me" started. That song has always been one of my most played. But Thursday it was different, instead of dwelling on how I wished I could go back and have things the way they used to be... I realized, when she sang the line "the brokenness inside me might start healing", mine already has. If you haven't lost someone close to you, you might not know what I am talking about. But I had been allowing the brokenness I have felt missing my mom and the way things were with her to own me for a long time.
Thursday night I realized, it doesn't anymore. I miss her dearly. Lord, she labored 30 hours to bring me into this world, I should miss her. :) But I didn't grieve the way things used to be anymore.
Okay, now think about the relief I felt, the introspection that took place. And all the emotions I must have been feeling (hint: I feel A LOT, poor men in my life). I actually shed a few tears of happiness just realizing that it was getting better.
Now, let's go back to 7:30pm on Friday, when after all of our adventuring, I think Jared is taking me to dinner. Nope... imagine my surprise when instead of going to a table he tells me we need to go "this way" toward the bathrooms. "But babe" I wanted to protest, right as we turn the corner and the lights go one, and my eyes instantly well up with tears. My family and friends, from all seasons of my life, where there shouting "Happy Birthday".
I couldn't figure it out. How did I not know?! I am nosey. I get anxiety when I feel like I am out of the loop (yes, I know that is ridiculous). But I was standing there feeling so loved. Love, that is really the house that built me. Each of the people in that room had played such an important role in my life and they were there to usher in a new decade with me.
Cue tears.
There were a few. Okay, a little more than a few, but I could not believe that these people have traveled from near and FAR to be here. I spent the next 3 hours, just being present. It was so perfect. I owe it the three men of my life, and a few little helpers they had. :)
What I want to do right now, is keep sharing all the reasons why these people are my favorite, and how they must really know my love language, and how I literally couldn't wipe the silly grin off my face all weekend. But I'll spare all of your precious moments and instead share a few pictures from the weekend (ps if you have pictures from Friday, text them to me!).
Thank you Lord for each and every one of these beautiful people, and those who couldn't be there. I am so incredibly grateful for the love they give and the role they play in my life.
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| My 30th birthday portrait by Ainsley. |
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