Authors of My Life

To the "Authors of My Life":

Have you read Brenè Brown's book Daring Greatly? Or how about her book Rising Strong? Because I have noticed you are doing this thing she talks about in those books, but I don't know if you realize what you are doing.

Brenè phrases it like this:
 "The story I'm making up'" Brown told Tech Insider. "Basically, you're telling the other person your reading of the situation..."

But Brenè goes on to say that she believes using that phrase in vulnerability comes with simultaneously admitting that you know it cannot be 100% accurate, and that is where Brenè and you [the Authors of My Life] seem to be butting heads.

You see, I agree with Brenè. Shoot, that phrase and the concept of making up my own story has caused me to push pause a number of times and realize I am being totally ridiculous. One time, it went something like this:

"The story I am making up is that you did not like my Christmas present because you didn't send me a thank you card"
Truth: Nope, that person just doesn't believe in wasting money on thank you cards, but in fact wears the shirt I got them on a regular basis.

But you aspiring writers you, do you realize the impact of the stories you have been writing? You might not start with "the story I am making up..." but you are in fact making each of the storylines up.

The story YOU are making up... "Tauna loves having weekends off from being a mom while her daughter is with her dad, or at least it looks like it from her pictures"
My Truth: I am a mom every day of my life. And I miss her every day she is away from me. Each of those times I am out doing things without her, that is part of my coping mechanism. I surround myself with my people, the good ones who make me laugh and enjoy life. So, the story that I hope my daughter see's being written, is one that shows her that I wait with baited breath till I see her again, each and every weekend, and that she is not listening to the storytellers that say otherwise.

The story YOU are making up..."Did you know your boyfriend is liking other girls posts on IG more than yours? Is everything okay?"
My Truth: We are in one of the best places we have ever been. We aren't perfect, that would be boring. But life is good, and he likes me in real life. But please do not create a story line that you then share with me to only instigate Mr.Insecurity. Comparison is the thief of joy, don’t steal my joy. That's not cool.

The story YOU are making up..."You are so inconsiderate because you don't like my FB posts but I can see you are active and liked someone else's an hour ago"
My Truth: Facebook has this new algorithm. So, there is a GREAT chance I probably didn't see you post. Also, I don't actually spend a ton of time scrolling FB. I get on for a work here and there, or to search something specific, but the constant negative opinion party posting does not really leave me eager to spend more than a couple seconds on there at a time. But I probably would have like whatever you posted, I am sorry I didn't see it.

And so many more stories I have heard in the last couple years...

You see, no one actually gave you a publishing contract to write the story of my life. The Big Man upstairs is the author of that story [thank goodness, He knows what He is doing]. I am sorry if it feels like I am airing our dirty laundry, but my hope, dear “authors of my life”, is that you will own these stories you have been writing and understand, you cannot write them anymore.

I never signed up for Instagram or Facebook to give permission to create story lines for my life. I did it to connect with people [like my family in Sweden], but not to make it my sole point of connection. If you are one of the them, the people who read between the pictures and captions, who think you know my story or have written a chapter or two of my book, maybe even have shared with it with others, I invite you to put down your scrolling thumb and get to know me, without reading between the lines or through pictures that only tell a fraction of my story. Truly, let’s get coffee, tea, TACOS!

But I want to leave you with this, if you are really interested in writing or storytelling, I encourage you to write your own story. Be it a blog, journal, or series of poems. Take interest in your own story too, because learning more about who you are and how you show up for your people is so much more fulfilling than living in the world of scrolling screens. But if it is story telling that ignites your torch, schedule times to sit down and learn stories and maybe actually through listening to them you can help people write their actual story, not just the one you have been making up.

To the authors of my life, thank you but let's spend time living this story that's being written for us instead of trying to write it ourselves.

Love,
T