Open and Closed Doors

Have you ever been stuck in your prayer life?

I was. Some people say they just start to pray anything, and then the rest comes. I’m kind of in the middle. Recently though, my start to prayer has sent me into a spiral of thanks, that I then lost sight on anything else.

Lately, I have been trying to figure out a number of things the Lord is teaching or showing me. But praying, “Lord, continue to show more of Yourself or teach me Your desires” didn’t feel specific enough. I could feel it inside of me, that I needed to be more specific, but the words weren't coming.

And then I arrived in Sulphur, LA. I was reading that favorite Bob Goff book, and started talking to my aunt about some of those anxieties. Then Aunt Kathy said something that just stuck, right before she walked inside to leave me ruminating in how perfect it was. She said “Tauna, I’ll pray a door opens”.

Huh? That concept was darn near perfect to articulate what had been happening. Let me illustrate how:

• Lord, I pray that open doors in hearts. Open to Your will and desire. To lead by love like Your Son. That my heart would open in trust and that it would open to selfless conversations in a nurturing way. 
• Lord, I pray that the door to opportunity opens. That you may show me Your plan for which opportunities are the right ones. For all those unknowns in travel, career, and life, Lord please show me the opportunities You have created.
• Lord, I pray that doors to relationships open. I trust you to open current relationships, and help me discover new ones. I trust that by opening a door to a relationship You have placed in my life, I will see more of Your desires for me.

And maybe a couple more.

But with opening doors, I would be amiss if I didn't consider those that close and pray for them too. A dear friend of the pastoral kind once challenged me to consider praying in counter. Initially it was about politics. I know, touchy subject. But then when I was considering open doors, I thought about those the Lord closes. It's hard to pray for things to close and be finished. Whether it is the place in your career, or a struggling friendship that has made you question if they are truly meant to guide and support you, it is hard for me to walk away from things. But this weekend, it felt good knowing my faith can support that.

The next morning I finished the book. In the final chapter's, Bob says:

"Jesus doesn't give us any grades, and I'm grateful for that. He's the only one who ever loved people perfectly. None of us will ever get love and kindness or sacrifice entirely right. We're all just doing the best we can." 

I may never get my words perfectly right. But He knows the desires of my heart. And I feel blessed to be getting lost in discovering what His desires for me are, through opening and closing doors.