Speaking to Dead People

There are a lot of days I talk to my mom. And each of those days I also pray. Today, I realized how healing it is to speak to the dead, as in the physically not here.  

Both my mom and Jesus live in me. Each of them in their own way. But the idea that their physical bodies aren’t here sometimes makes me sad. What would it be like to sit in their presence and have these conversations that I often have with their non-physical being?

Now my mom, that’s easier to imagine. Thank goodness I still remember her voice. Some days that memory is already fading. I miss the way she would grab my hand when I was nervous, or the moments where she would hug me if my voice was quivering. Every ounce of me digs deep to remember what her inflections were like and what her go to phrases were, but at least some of it’s still there. 

But Jesus. Wow. I can’t even begin to imagine what it would be like to sit in His physical  presence. I often conclude that whatever conversation I am currently having through prayer, would be overcome by awe/wonder and continual gratitude. Knowing me, I feel like I would also have a million questions. But even as I sit here writing this, I get a smile on my face at the idea of being in His physical presence. 

The how’s, why’s, what would you do’s... would quickly turn. The idea of having my mom back or Jesus in the flesh. That changes the idea of having conversations with the dead. 

Tuesday is mom’s birthday. Today I was asking her what her plans were to celebrate as I spread the remainder of her ashes. I even dreamed up a dream that she was throwing a party with Annie Oakley up in heaven (I’d like to think even outlaws have a shot at getting into heaven). But talking to mom about her birthday isn’t the same. It’s not the same when I ask her advice either, or tell her I’m scared, or share my giddiness when love happens. Nothing will ever replace physical conversations with the ones you love. 

Tonight I’m thankful for those conversations, the listening they do, they healing the provide in their own unique ways, and the wonder of what it would be like to have them back to have conversations in the flesh with them.