Let's Talk: Sex Trade and Suicide

I hoped that would grab your attention. But now that I have it, don't you leave me. Give me 5 minutes. 

Did you know that the human trafficking is now considered a more desired illegal trade than drugs? Because bodies can be traded/sold OVER and OVER again.

These days, the term "its easier to get a girl than it is to get a pizza" is a common phrase because the business of "pimping" is growing by the day. We hear news stories daily of teens who have been reported missing, or youth who are being displaced at the border from their families. But what I want you to consider is this: while news stories will focus on certain angles, there are parts that aren't being shared. For example, that those sweet innocent young people are being sold in the sex trade as prostitutes and sex slaves. Those terms may seem vulgar and extreme, but when you consider a pimp using a single child/teenager and making a profit over their body being used for sex over 15 times in a single day, that is what it is. To eliminate the sex trade, it will take bi-partisan voice and media support to share the value of the human body and expose the monsters who are exploiting this industry.

5 weeks ago, a former classmate told me about how she left the sex industry. How it had started by working at a strip club as a server, and one night a man she did not know was a pimp drugged her and held her against her will for 9 days. In the first three days, she was forced while under the influence of drugs, to engage in sexual encounters with over 35 men, and then she lost track for the next six days. My heart broke for her, and yet I saw hope and love bounding out of her in recovery.

This is a reality that many young women AND men are facing, and not to their fault. A number of times, people point fingers and blame their choices, but for a moment, I ask that you not judge the part of their story you assume got them to where they are and realize, the illegal sex industry is not a choice. It is a criminal trade.

🔼🔽🔼🔽🔼🔽🔼🔽

And then there is this week, a week where our world lost two notable names to suicide. The NY Times published an article, and in it, the author bold typed the phrase "Don't underestimate the power of showing up". That and the idea, that it is "okay to not be o.k" are things that we don't talk about very often. Yet, in many of the articles being published about Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain's death, you will read about their mental illness and struggles with pressures and perfection, they had not come to terms with the concept that it was okay to not be o.k. And there were many people that were mentioned that wished they would have just "showed up" for them.

Suicidal tendencies can be brought on by many things, but what a lot of people forget is that it is not something that can just be fixed, and each person is uniquely in need of being supported. That New York Times article summed it up simply, just show up. Some people might need advice, some people might need a physical hug, others might just need to know that you notice them, and then there are those who don't "need" you, but you might need to be the person who notices that they need help. Showing up is what can be thread that holds that person together instead of the last one that breaks.

We lost my maternal grandfather over a year ago. I was in a bookstore with a dear friend when I got the phone call from my dad that my grandpa had been found, and that he had taken his own life. I don't think I processed it initially. Instead I sat with that friend in the section of this dusty bookstore, right next to a complete collection of Nancy Drew books, and I began to try to understand why he had done it. I told myself stories; stories that blamed others, myself, his PTSD but ultimately no one but grandpa knew why he did what he did. The day we memorialized his life, I was reminded that he had an abundant community that loved him, we all showed up in our own way. But when it came to his mental illness, only he knew how showing up for him could have helped, so I stopped telling myself stories and instead prayed for his peace and reunion with those he may meet on the other side of this life.

🔼🔽🔼🔽🔼🔽🔼🔽

These topics are heavy. I am not an expert. But these statistics scare me. Suicide rates have increased at least 25% since 1999 according to the CDC and according to NOVA HTI, "since 2007, the National Human Trafficking Hotline, operated by Polaris, has received reports of 22,191 sex trafficking cases inside the United States".

I ask you, my family, friends, and community members, how do we show up?

Social responsibility goes beyond helping those who are directly considering the sex trade or suicide. It is all of our responsibility to be citizens who provide resources, and who support those who are emotionally affected by everything going on in our world.

If you are an employer, consider sharing resources with your employees on the benefits you offer for counseling or support lines through EAP programs on a regular basis.

If you are a company or organization, educate your employees on where they can find community resources. DSHS often provides community resource sheets, like this one for Pierce County. Google "DSHS [insert your county here] County Resources" and look in the top links to find one for your county. Then share the document with your staff and place it near phones or on the desktop of computers, so that when you have a caller who needs your support, you have a resource.

In your family, don't shy away from these topics. Open the door for conversations about the hard stuff. But consider making them ones that create loving opportunities to "show up" for others through volunteering and advocating; which will set the example for our younger generations. Your voice and actions are being watched by those little eyes and innocent ears.

Thank you for taking my bait and reading for 5 minutes. I feel passionately about these topics because of the sweet face below. While I know I can only do my best to protect her, I want to be the mom whose voice sets an example for her; that we believe in love, self respect, and showing up. If these topics are hard, or personally affect you, please know that my intent is to lovingly support our community in building opportunity to support one another. I am here for you and please do not hesitate to contact me or the resources below.

Looking to give back to support these specific topics? Here are just a couple of action steps you can consider:

Help bring awareness and work to support eliminating the sex trade:

1. Educate yourself and share your voice. Check out this resource page to learn more.
2. Recognize the signs and connect people to the hotline at 1-888-373-7888 or text 233733
3. Sign the petition at www.traffickingprevention.org as an ally to end the sex trade.
4. Refuse to visit bikini baristas, purchase porn, like sexualized social media content, and choose to not be that friend who joins in strip club parties/visits.

Help bring awareness and work to support suicide prevention:

1. If you need to talk to someone about suicide, please call the 1-800-273-8255 or for options to serve other languages or those with special requests, follow this link.
2. Educate yourself and share your voice.
3. Know the signs and how you can support. Check out this link to learn more.
4. Engage in professional initiatives like these to support suicide prevention.
5. Be aware of what you say on social media and remember that we are not perfect, nor is anyone else. Your words and actions, while intended to drive accountability, may drive hatred and fuel insecurity. Consider personal connections and actions when feeling convicted on a topic or individual.