Patriarch & Matriarch
In these last 24 hours, I have spent a good amount of time reflecting on the roles of a patriarch and matriarch and how they have been so vital in my family for as long as I can remember. Titles that some people associate with negative connotations, but for me, paint a picture of legacy.
Granny has been a pillar in our family and has held us together more times than I can count. I began writing my love and appreciation for her about a year ago, but I'm not quite ready to share that one with you. Today though, I finally found the words to share a little about my love for my grandfather. Until today, I hadn't had a start, middle, nor end. But today I do.
Known for expectations and opinions, he was a man who founded a company, co-led a family, and taught the value of a healthy debate [even if in his later years he believed he was always right]. Bob, grandpa, the founder, dad, hugo, Gpops, or any other identity he took on, had a personality that was filled with his own spin on life and yet he had this twinkle in his eye that made you love him nonetheless. I was one of the lucky ones, since he was grandpa to me, I got the identity that snuck me extra dessert and only debated for 15 minutes before my "innocent" smile usually won.
Nonetheless, Grandpa Shoe taught me a lot.
He taught me how to "be tough". Meaning, sometimes you think you know what you want, or what path you are going to take, and then life throws you a curve ball. And that's when you turn to your family and your smarts to realize that God gave you what you have to continue on a path the might be unsettled, but you can do it and be great.
He also taught me something about love. 61 years is a long time to be married, and often I heard people say they thought my grandma was a saint for putting up with him [she was/is]. But he had to learn to be loved too. I think some people forget that. That stubborn grandpa of mine knew he was stubborn and hard to love. He told me once. But over the course of 61 years, he understood how lucky he was. So even on days he was a pain, he told her he loved her and gave her a smooch. Now, in my book, no one is perfect. So grandpa, way to man up and allow her to love you [and some of us others too].
PS I also loved how I saw him soften as he grew to know his great granddaughter and love her and be loved by her.
He also taught me the simple practical things. Like how to prep a fishing rod [and untangle fishing line I poorly cast]. Or how to build a bird house, which is necessary when your grandmothers favorite hobby at one point is bird watching. He advised me on which cars to buy, and what books to read. I also remember the day he taught me how to hide from dad long enough to get out of dishes by saying I had to go number two, I was 4 years old... but don't worry, I only used that trick till I was probably 12 and then my mom caught on. Grandpa taught me a lot of random things, he enjoyed teaching, and I loved seeing his face light up as he taught.
While some who knew him may have thought this moment was close many times from the number of health scares we have encountered in the past, this time was different. A sudden rhythm change of his heart, and no longer a will to fight, he left this earth while holding the hand of his wife of 61 years. They were and are, our Patriarch and Matriarch.
*For those interested in knowing more about a Celebration of Life, more information is to come for an end of October celebration. Please do not hesitate to call or text if you have any questions or want to know more.
Granny has been a pillar in our family and has held us together more times than I can count. I began writing my love and appreciation for her about a year ago, but I'm not quite ready to share that one with you. Today though, I finally found the words to share a little about my love for my grandfather. Until today, I hadn't had a start, middle, nor end. But today I do.
The Patriarch. The Founder.
Known for expectations and opinions, he was a man who founded a company, co-led a family, and taught the value of a healthy debate [even if in his later years he believed he was always right]. Bob, grandpa, the founder, dad, hugo, Gpops, or any other identity he took on, had a personality that was filled with his own spin on life and yet he had this twinkle in his eye that made you love him nonetheless. I was one of the lucky ones, since he was grandpa to me, I got the identity that snuck me extra dessert and only debated for 15 minutes before my "innocent" smile usually won.
Nonetheless, Grandpa Shoe taught me a lot.
He taught me how to "be tough". Meaning, sometimes you think you know what you want, or what path you are going to take, and then life throws you a curve ball. And that's when you turn to your family and your smarts to realize that God gave you what you have to continue on a path the might be unsettled, but you can do it and be great.
He also taught me something about love. 61 years is a long time to be married, and often I heard people say they thought my grandma was a saint for putting up with him [she was/is]. But he had to learn to be loved too. I think some people forget that. That stubborn grandpa of mine knew he was stubborn and hard to love. He told me once. But over the course of 61 years, he understood how lucky he was. So even on days he was a pain, he told her he loved her and gave her a smooch. Now, in my book, no one is perfect. So grandpa, way to man up and allow her to love you [and some of us others too].
PS I also loved how I saw him soften as he grew to know his great granddaughter and love her and be loved by her.
He also taught me the simple practical things. Like how to prep a fishing rod [and untangle fishing line I poorly cast]. Or how to build a bird house, which is necessary when your grandmothers favorite hobby at one point is bird watching. He advised me on which cars to buy, and what books to read. I also remember the day he taught me how to hide from dad long enough to get out of dishes by saying I had to go number two, I was 4 years old... but don't worry, I only used that trick till I was probably 12 and then my mom caught on. Grandpa taught me a lot of random things, he enjoyed teaching, and I loved seeing his face light up as he taught.
He was our Founder. The man who taught us simple lessons and the man who built and accomplished big dreams.
On the morning of Tuesday, September 4, my grandfather Robert Shoemaker passed away unexpectedly, yet peacefully.
While some who knew him may have thought this moment was close many times from the number of health scares we have encountered in the past, this time was different. A sudden rhythm change of his heart, and no longer a will to fight, he left this earth while holding the hand of his wife of 61 years. They were and are, our Patriarch and Matriarch.
*For those interested in knowing more about a Celebration of Life, more information is to come for an end of October celebration. Please do not hesitate to call or text if you have any questions or want to know more.
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