Holy Matrimony

Marriage, the covenant of two people, choosing one another for the rest of their lives. Willingly entering into a life that is purposed, knowing full well you love your person but there will be days you may not like who they are being or what they have done. A commitment to choose to be partners in decision making, where sometimes you are in agreement, and other times one of you will be choosing to allow the others choice to be priority. But really, the reality is, there is no recipe to marriage. That's what I am learning. 

Basically, I continue to learn, there is a lot more to marriage than you think, and no one person is going to be the person to tell you how to do it right or wrong. It is simple in theory by your choice to love someone unconditionally, but then you have to continue you to choose them as well.

Tonight I was going through family photos. As I was sorting through generations of memories, there were dozens of my grandparents. As I began to collect them, I started noticing what life looked like through these images. 

There were times where they were "picture perfect" family.

Then there were other times where they were disheveled and my grandma was giving grandpa the sideways glare, like "don't you even think about it". 

And then I would find a snapshot of just the two of them, on vacation, his arms wrapped around her... and you could just tell they were completely in love, and probably thrilled to be away on a trip with just the two of them. 😉

My grandparents were married for 61 years before my grandfather passed away this August. SIXTY-ONE YEARS! As I think about their marriage and what I can learn from it, I take away one major thing. Marriage and relationships stem from a love that is rooted deeply inside of you. Your love for someone allows you to love through anything. But with that, it is a conscious choice. You have to continually choose to pursue it and allow yourself to feel that love. That love allows you to see through selfish desires, and makes way for the choice to choose one another. 

In Ephesians, there is the notion that you choose to leave your mother and father to hold fast to your spouse, and I never really understood the bigger idea of that until recently. Your family is the blood from which you are born, but the love that is created inside of you to marry someone is something that overtakes that. It allows you to choose to enter into a new family, one of your own, and build something beautiful to glorify our Lord and create disciples through the love that you and your partner create together.

God teaches us some amazing things, and the part about loving Him is the most beautiful. But then when you realize how He teaches us to love other people uniquely based on the role in our lives, that is a pretty special thing to appreciate. 

Seeing my grandfather and grandmother find love in each other, and through their faith and belief that love was their foundation, continue to love each other for 61 years... that right there, is a testimony I love to believe in.